me love you

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in case you missed it, new pics are up from our chinatown shoot. photos, hair and make-up by Athena Lobit. special thanks to Alana Lobit. props to Alyssa Lobit for not falling down. really.

exciting news about The Things We Carry coming soon, coming soon...

lost & found writings by alyssa taesun lobit

some poetry i found while toodlin around on my robot brain (that's a computer, people!).

. . .

every morning i wake up, hoping to remember
only the things which will help me look at the world
with eyes which have seen all that is
and decided to open anyway

. . .

i bought and sold
all the marks on
the map
the train becomes
another trap
a kite in the ocean
stuck upstream
in the maze of
misguided
chivalry

. . .

breaking waves on the sea of time
tell stories
just when you think you're someone
the little ache sells something
here, god lived until
something as nominal as
this
came out of lightning
in the summer
our best sins
escape the best of men
escape
the rest of them

. . .

she hid from the world behind her own shadow
knowing all along it was a plan
to cleanse the night
of itself, for itself
and mesmerized by her look
i walked right up to her
stepping on stars
swallowed by the sea
she took my heart in her tide
and pulled it close
then asked me what i wanted
lost in the dark
and washing away that which isn't me
i landed, toes first
a wave of serenity running through
this momentary labyrinth
to the humming sound of bliss
on the ears of an infant
reborn

. . .

i drift between these selves
between these nouns
that show me that i'm here
as they bump up against me
before they disappear
sometimes it hurts
sometimes it's dancing
sometimes we're both invisible
and nothing happens at all

i reach for balance still
trying not to make a sound
wondering if i don't care
or don't know that i'm free
sometimes it works
sometimes it's chance
sometimes i am indeed invisible
and the balance is a fall

. . .

there are people, precious people
who break other people, precious people
accidentally cracking them,
crushing them to little bits
they force their fearless fears
on tormented virgin ears
accidentally waking them
to wisdom fueled by bullets
and after all the fires fly
and after the show's gone home
what's left behind
is the subtle sound
of silence
ringing in the minds
of these people, all of the precious people

. . .

stuck together in reluctant matrimony
looking at one other out of convenience
as if to say
well, we're here, so...
these children of mine
forgotten breakdowns
filial takedowns
face me in chorus
confused at being flipped through
a rolodex of morose countenances
their proportions epic at the time
these tired ghosts yawning at being roused
their faces swollen and ruby
and all i can muster
is another nervous breakdown
so fast
it almost didn't happen at all

. . .

we humans, we gossip about beauty, death, love, and god
while everything else just is
just is beauty, death, love and god? or just is, as in just is?
as i said, we gossip . . .

. . .

i mark and go, tight-fisted
maybe i like it
you can't escape
try to
slowly like they're in sync
slowly slowly
thru all the deep ends
anytime
carcass and plaster
we bought this kill
equally empty
how could you cost a thing
insane and all
till feeling falsely
come here my darling
swallow, come in, come home
but i like it
we shower after all
clean what we can
i hate and stay
you like me
or like me for after
you cost a mere
lie
lying in the afternoon
the year is blue
insane in now
till telling
is taming
like a feeling could be
freed
must i see you
all of these mouths are mine
now comets
show and hide
i lost it
the grand dream
i fell nasty
for what was loud
all that allowed
was their gift
an endless supply
ultimate satan
hear them meow
they're tied to cliffs afar
till all their
shadows fall
after the meow
simply the calmest
goings on
they let their portraits fall
inside the hole
are they for me?

thus the stars spoke:

there is a cave in my heart
that is dark like a womb
my heart beats against it
the echoes a bouquet of ghosts
tossed into the universe
beyond the beyond
and somewhere out there
beyond the beyond
a child gazes up at its sky
and calls them the stars
wishes he knew where they came from
somehow feels connected
like they're part of his heart
as they whisper love in the dark
a blanket of hope that there's more
and when i gaze up at my sky
from right here
when i look at these stars
i feel that child
i wish i remembered
where they came from
the stars whisper
there's more